I write so much about how Abby has a knack for kicking ass and taking names. The kid is a freaking enigma 99.9% of the time. People who meet her CANNOT believe that she is a "disabled" child. And in honesty, most of the time, neither can I.
But then there are those few and far between times that break my heart. Like tonight when she had a massive allergic reaction to a food allergy exposure. And after her tiny body wretched out the contents of her stomach and she laid in the tub itching her skinny little body I wanted to either cry or climb into that bathtub fully clothed and comfort her.
Why is life so hard for her? How the hell is she going to be a teenage with all of her "Abbyness"? How is life going to treat her? How the hell can I protect her from it all? I try to remind myself that she is easily 100 times stronger and more resilient than I am. She is a study on toughness. But I am her Mom. I have watched her suffer through therapy, surgery, anesthesia, doctors, braces, glasses, shots, tests and so many other things. I have rubbed her backed and shushed her through so many tears but I had to sit there and watch EVERYTHING be harder for her.
It isn't fair. None of it. Not one damn minute. Thankfully she doesn't even know it. This is her life and this is how it is for her. But for this one tiny little minute I question why it has to be so much harder for her.
I don't know now but I know there has to be a why. I guess we just have to be patient and wait for the answers. I am just incredibly thankful these moments are truly few and far between.