Monday, August 30, 2010

Do people really get it?

Sometimes you wonder... does anyone really get it... what it's like to have an atypical kid? People look at them and in our case our child looks "normal". If you see her sitting in a restaurant or sitting in a cart she looks normal (unless she is having a "flappy" day). People smile and comment on her beautiful curly hair. In those moments I forget that she is anything but "normal".

But the rest of the time...normal is so far away it is hard to conceive of it. I sometimes catch myself daydreaming about life with typical children. No therapy. No equipment. No planning ahead to make sure that their special needs are considered. No specialists and doctors. No medications. It just sounds like less stress and worry. But that is not our world. This is our brand of reality.

I feel like much of my life is spent either justifying that Abby has a verifiable disability (think insurance companies, DDD, etc.) OR (in stark contrast) justifying how "normal" she is. I feel like I can't win. It just feels like people THINK they get it but they so do not. I get A TON of "suggestions" from people. If you did "A" than she would stop "B". I always smile politely and thank people for their "advice". What I really want to do is smack them upside their head with their stupid useless advice... but that would not be very ladylike. :D

Ugg... sometimes it just feels like we are living in a different world. We live alongside all the people whose kids are normal. Who can eat normal foods, who can play without falling, who don't have weird emotional reactions to mundane things, who don't have an army of doctors... but we are not in the same world. I sometimes envy those people and sometimes I pity them. Our experiences might be tough but they are rich. They teach us so much about being human. I guess in the end maybe it all equals itself out.

Ok, enough rambling for now...


  1. I get snide comments from people about my boys being to old to "be in a stroller" because they look older than they are (15 months, only walking for one). I can only imagine some of the remarks you get from people who don't get that Abby is special needs, no matter how 'normal' she looks (who decides what is normal anyway).
    If we happen to meet and I stupidly offer ass-vice, feel free to smack me upside the head (I dont care if you're ladylike).