Monday, January 28, 2013

Hi Mrs. Fescoe, It's Abby's teacher...

Not exactly the voicemail I wanted to receive on a rainy Monday afternoon...

I came back in the house, drenched, and noticed that I had a voicemail. I put it off a few minutes since Abby came home wild, saying she "accidentally cried" at school and her face was blotchy, red and puffy. I didn't get much info out of her so I decided to give her a half an hour to rest and then revisit what had happened.

That's when I picked up the voicemail. I heard "Hi Mrs. Fescoe, it's Mrs. F.... Abby's teacher. I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things. {GULP} First there are a few birthdays coming up and I wanted to give you dates to send in vegan snacks for her {SIGH OF RELIEF}. Second, I wanted to see how her doctors appointments went {SECOND SIGH}. And I also wanted to talk to you about some behavior we are seeing. {SHIT!}

She did some brief explaining but I hung up the voicemail, called her back and prayed I would catch her before she left. I didn't see myself sleeping well if it had to wait until tomorrow. I lucked out and did catch her.

We went through the pleasantries, the party dates, the doctors visits... then got down to business. It seems my previously "model student" has escalated significantly. Meltdowns, temper, screaming, throwing things, obsessing over people and things, perseverating, singing inappropriately, being loud... you name it. I wish I could say I was surprised but we have been here before. In preschool we had to meet with the behaviorist and her OT to completely revamp Abby's behaviors and sensory plan because she was so out of control. Seems we are back to square one.

It's just so frustrating sometimes. I am not naive. I know that raising a child who is "different" will always be chock full of issues. It's because the "issues" have a tendency to ebb and flow that we become the most frustrated. There are times when things are good; her balance seems better, we have no significant falls, her behavior is great, etc. In those moments we *almost* forget that she has lifelong "issues". Because of that we sometimes feel blindsided when it falls apart.

I am not sure how, after almost six years of dealing with these ebbs and flows, we can still manage to be blindsided. Maybe it's my eternal optimism? Maybe it's self preservation? Maybe it's stupidity? I'm not sure but it sure as hell is hard!

So now we will be revamping her sensory/OT plan and it looks like the behavioral specialist will be called in. I am guessing her developmental pediatrician will want to get in on the planning and I am sure there will be another push for meds. Not sure what the outcome will be but I realize we're lucky to already have a team in place.

Posted by Kristen Fescoe

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