On my other blog I posted today announcing that we are going to try for a third child later this summer. For those of you who don't know Brian and I need the help of IVF to get pregnant. The girls are IVF babies and we can't conceive on our own. We're very excited about the prospect of another little person in our family. We always had intentions of a big family but infertility and a child with "issues" slowed us down quite a bit.
When we have talked in the past about having more kids one of the things that often comes up (an annoying amount of time ;D) is what about Abby. Sometimes people mean how will we deal with Abby's extra needs while raising another baby. Sometimes they mean what would we do if we had another child with special needs. It is frustrating to have to answer those questions but these are my thoughts.
For the first part, we'll deal like we always deal. Our children (and our family) come first above anything else. They are our top priority so I never worry about not having enough time or energy to devote to giving Abby (or Grace for that matter) what she needs. If we worry about our kids first then it is the other things that will get put on hold (laundry, cleaning, yardwork). Those are the things that can wait.
The second part is as easy for us as the first part. Through our experiences both with infertility (and loss) and with having a special needs child we have learned that God only sends you what you can handle. I remember this moment standing in my Mom's kitchen. It was the day the doctor told us that IF Abby survived being born her outcome would be very poor. I was standing in the kitchen sobbing thinking to myself that I CAN NOT DO THIS. I AM NOT CAPABLE OF THIS. Boy was I wrong. Being a Mom has given me magical powers I never thought I had. The power to go on 3 hours of sleep. The power to move mountains with the insurance company or the hospital or whatever to get Abby the tests, treatments, surgery, etc. that she needed. The power to teach my child how to walk and not in the usual way.
I am not worried about that stuff. I worry, like everyone else, about putting them through college and fighting over the bathroom when they are all teenagers. There is not much I can do about any of it so I am just trying to enjoy the ride.