It amazes me how much mothering a child with special needs changes a person. How much you can grow and change and adapt out of sheer will and necessity. Some days I feel like a mighty giant... battling what needs to be battling... fighting the good fight. Some days I feel like I am a piece of used chewing gum. But no matter what kind of day it is I am still a Mom fighting like hell to give my kids every thing this world has to offer.
I was driving home from Abby's appointment the other day and I found myself deep in thought. I was thinking about how much my life has become their life. How I have become them. I am no longer Kristen (most of the time) I am Abby and Grace's Mom or Mrs. F..... (to the insurance company or a doctors office or school or whatever). I have changed.
I know I would have changed if I had "typical" kids but there is something unique about being the Mom of a special needs child. It does something to your core. It changes the way you see yourself, your children, the people around you. It shows you who your true friends and allies are. It shows you who will support you no matter what. It takes the focus off of ME and puts it on THEM.
It is a good and a bad thing. The fact that you have to let go of some of yourself... probably not the best part of it. But being able to provide for them things that no one else could... that part makes up for it.